Life in the past year

I cannot believe that it has been a year since I moved back home! This last year has been full of ups and downs, laughter and cries, and good times and bad times. I never would have thought that I would go through the things in life that I have... especially all at once. I would have to say that I definately have had more than my fair share of hurt and pain these last couple years. But for some reason someone out there thinks that I need to feel more, and it just keeps adding on. I forgot how difficult dating is. When I got my annulment from Danny it felt like I was starting all over with dating and I was back at 16 again. I know there is someone out there that will treat me like I should be treated, and will love me with no reserve.... But I didn't realize how hard it would be to find that guy! Just when you think you have found a guy who is really sweet to you, treats you really good, and actually cares for you, then they turn around and kick you in the butt and you find out they are just playing those stupid dating games that everyone hates, the kind that makes your heartbreak and makes you feel like you just want to cry. Then all of a sudden your thoughts turn to your ex and the things he did and the way he made you feel, then your emotions just get worse. Why is it that just when you think you are getting over the situation it comes back and just tears you down all over again?? When does the pain ever fully go away?? Well it definately wont go away till after I find the right guy and can be done with dating and the stupid games guys play. Some how I just seem to be drawn to those guys that put up a front and make you feel special when all they are really doing is playing you. Something has to change!!!! This last one was a hard one... but I finally stood up for myself and told him that I was done with his games and told him that if it was gonna be the way it was then it would never work out. As bad as it hurt me too... I just had to do it. I cannot settle and let myself think that this is the best that I can find, and let myself get walked all over on. I will NOT go through that again!!!
On a happier note though... I know the things I am going through are happening for a reason... I know that these trials in life will make me a better and stronger person. I love my family and friends!!! They have been my biggest support and have helped me get through so much!!! I couldn't do this without them!! Especially my family and especially my mom!! Words cannot express my gratitude for her!! My little brother Brayden has been a big help too! I love him so much and miss him tons!! He is becoming such a great missionary! He was just made District Leader of his District at the MTC!! He leaves for Germany November 23rd! He is such a great example to me! Ich Liebe Dich Brayden!!!

Brayden's Farewell

So umm.......... Brayden's farewell is this Sunday.....and I am going crazy! I can't believe how fast time has flown by... I am so not ready for him to leave yet... I don't know what I am gonna do without him for 2 years.... Seriously! I feel so lost just thinking about it! I love my little brother so much..... I have grown so close to him in the last couple years... He is my best friend! I am so proud of him for making the choice to go on a mission! I love you Brayden!

I Love My Singles Branch!!

OK so I just have to say how much I love my singles branch!

For starters my Branch President is awesome! He is so supportive and always there for me! This last Sunday he came up to me and asked if he could meet with me after church... uh oh was my first thought... I knew right away he was going to give me a calling.... I had gotten away with not having one since the middle of march when I came back to the branch (I went to this one before I got married) and now he is finally giving me one.....

So after church I go to his office and he gives me not only one calling but two!! Gees! So he called me to be a relief society instructor and a branch missionary..... OK so that isn't the why he is so supportive.... But I am excited about my callings, I was a relief society instructor before I left the branch.....

The next thing was he asked was "how are you doing?".... When he asked this he meant emotionally with my annulment....I told him I am doing great!.... Then he told me "I can see that! I have seen a Glow about you again! Your back to the Ashley that I knew before!"(happy and bubbly)...... Well that made me so happy! I am glad that people can see that I am happy again!

I gave up a lot of the things that I enjoyed when I got married because Danny did not like the same things that I did, so I gave them up and learned to like the same things he did... not that I didn't like the same things but I got to gain new hobbies and things that I like to do now! But I put all of the things I liked to do in a closet and locked them up because he would never do them with me.... But now that I am back I can enjoy the things that I loved to do before.... And thanks to my Singles Branch, they have helped me to find those things again! They are a big reason why I have been able to get through the healing process like I have! Even though I still have my hard days, I always know that I have my friends from the Branch there for me, not judging me and helping me keep my head high! We do so many fun things together! I am so Excited for our trip to Jackson Hole this weekend!!

Yahoo!!! I got it!!!

I got the Job at the call center for America First!! I am so excited! I start the week of the 24th of August!!! Yay! This is going to be such a great change for me!!!

I need your opinion!!!

Ok so my sister brought something to my attention yesterday... I don't know what to do..... She told me I should try meeting someone on LDS singles.com that way I can find someone that is more fit for me.... well It has crossed my thoughts every now and then but never really wanted to do it.... Is it weird???? or should I try it??? I have heard a lot of good things about it but I have never wanted to meet my husband or whoever online... What are your thoughts?????

I Love Volleyball!!!

A couple months ago me and some friends started playing volleyball on monday nights! It has been so much fun! And in a way kinda relaxing for me! It has been so nice to get out and just hangout with friends and meet new people! I think it has been a big part of my healing process. I am so much happier now!! I love it!!! I can't wait to play again tonight!!!

Munich, Germany!!!

My little brother Brayden is going to Munich, Germany/Austria on his mission!! He leaves September 23, 2009!! I am totally saving my money to go pick him up!! It is beautiful!!!

Brayden got his Mission Call today!!!!!

WooHoo!! Brayden got his mission call today! We are so excited!!! I can't wait to get home from work so I can watch him open it!!! We are having a big BBQ/Party with family and his friends tonight!!! I think I am as excited as he is to find out where he is going!!! I am having a hard time concentrating at work!!!

My little brother is getting so big!!!

My baby brother is not such a baby anymore :'( Yesterday He was ordained an elder! Holy crap! Time has gone by so fast!! Well to catch up since I haven't posted for a while, Brayden graduated from high school on May 28th. Since then he has been working hard to get his papers turned in for his mission. Well he turned them in on the 17th of June and we are expecting his call next Wednesday! Can you believe that? I am so proud of Him!! He is such a great example to everyone! I am gonna miss him so much!! The two of us hardly ever got along with each other before but now we are closer than ever! We have been hanging out a lot lately!!! I love it when he comes with me to some of the singles ward activities! And when we play volleyball with my friends! Brayden you are the greatest brother a sister could ask for!!! I love you so much!!! I am proud of all the amazing choices you have made in your life!!! I already can't wait till you get home from your mission!!!


Leave a comment if you want to guess where he is going!!! I will post when I find out where he is going!!!

This kinda sucks!

Well I won't be trying out anymore to sing the national anthem at dodger stadium for mormon night. I won't have enough leave to go with the other time i need off for other trips this summer. So I am kinda sad... but it will be fun going on trips with the singles branch! We have a fun trip planned in august to go river rafting! yay!

Wish me Luck!!!!

Ok so last night I was on the internet and I was looking for books for me to read at deseret book and saw that they are holding auditions to sing the national anthem at dodger stadium for "Mormon Night" on August 6th!!! I have always wanted to sing the national anthem at a Major League Baseball game!!! So guess what I am trying out!!! I am so excited!!! It would be so much fun to sing it for "Mormon Night!" especially when they are playing my favorite team that night!!! Go Braves!!! Wahoo!!! So wish me luck and pray for me that I will do well!

Kidney Stones Suck!!!

I hate having kidney stones! They are so painful... I wish they would just go away! I wish I was at home sleeping like I have been the last 2 days instead of being at work!!

I have the bestest friends ever!!!!!

So I just have to tell everyone that I have the bestest friends in the whole world!!!!

Saturday Libby, Cash, and Chanse took me out for my birthday to PF Changs in salt lake! Oh my gosh it was so good! While there they gave me their present and I was seriously almost in tears when i opened it! Lately I have been kinda bummed about my new scriptures I got a little over a year ago. For christmas me and my ex-hubby danny gave each other new scriptures for christmas because they finally came back out with the snap button ones again and I didn't have scriptures with my married name on them so we had that done on my scriptures. Well little did I know that i was gonna get divorced 10 months later. I hated the thought of spending more money on something that i already had that is still brand new!!!!! Well my friends bought me the sameones and put my maiden name on it!!! I am so excited!!!! I used them for the first time yesterday at church! I noticed in sacrament meeting as i was sitting there reading them that they each wrote there own little message in them to me! I had a hard time trying to hide the tears as i read them!

After i opened the best present ever!!! We ate and took lots of fun pictures! When it came time to pay they wouldn't let me help pay for dinner... then chanse took the check and he paid for all of us! Holy crap! That was so sweet of him! If you have ever been to PF Changs you can imagine what the bill would be like for 4 of us! Then we went to the drive in and saw like the last 10 minutes of Star Trek and then saw Monsters vs. Aliens. Funny Movie! They would barely even let me pay for my own Popcorn!

I had a blast with them!!! It was the most fun I have had in such a long time!!! This my fellow bloggers is why I have the Bestest Friends in the whole world! Thank you so so so much Cashena, Libby, and Chance!!!! You guys are the GREATEST!!!!!

Taylor swift concert!!

I am getting really excited for the Taylor swift concert!! I can't wait!

Happy 60th Birthday Dad!!!!!

Yesterday was my dad's 60th Birthday!!! Wow! We went yesterday into his work and surprised him with balloons that said happy 60th!! But someone beat us to it! My brother had put up "look who's turning 60"signs with his picture on it, on the sliding doors as you enter into kents market and all over the wall outside of the pharmacy!! It was awesome!! Happy Birthday Dad!!! I love you!!!

May is such a busy month for our Family! First is was my birthday on the 10th plus mothers day that same day, then it was my dad's birthday on the 13th(yesterday), then my nephews birthday on the 15th, my little brother Braydens seminary graduation on the 17th and high school graduation on the 28th which is also my sister-in-law Brooke's Birthday!!! Wow!!! What a crazy month!!! But hey I get to spend lots of time with the best family I could ever ask for!!!! I couldn't ask for more!!!

I hate it......

When our systems at work are down!!! It makes the day suck so bad!!!! Especially when the members get mad at you for it and you have no power over it!!!!

Just thought I would let ya know......

It's my birthday tomorrow!!!!

Tomorrow is also mothers day! I am so grateful for my mom!!!! She has done so much for me and I will never be able to repay her!!! I love her so much!!!


MaKe SUre yOu AlL lEt YouR MomS knOw HoW MucH YoU LovE ThEm!!!!

Happy Mothers Day to all you moms out there!!!!

I don't get some people...

Why must some people say things to someone that is hurtful and puts you down just so they can try to be better and more important than you for a moments time? Especially when you are already hurting.

Just because I am home doesn't mean that mom's attention is all on me. She is just helping me get through a hard time in my life. Isn't that what sister's are suppose to do too? Not tear you down more.
(no becky this isn't about you!)

(Sorry I am just venting cause I know she doesn't get on here.)

Womens Conference!

So I am leaving tonight to go to Womens Conference at BYU with my sisters and my mom! I am excited to spend some time with just them. Even though it will be for only one of the days since I have to work friday. But kinda nervous cause most of the classes are for parenting and strengthening marriages. Thankfully I did find some classes that are about helping you face challenges and trials in life! Which i think will be perfect for me! But i am very excited!

I hate people that stare!!!

So last night I went to dinner with my mom and dad and my little brother Brayden at Texas Roadhouse. We had just sat down and all of a sudden I feel these 2 pairs of eyes on me. So I look over and this old couple was just staring at me! So i just ignored them and went back to talking to my family. But all during while we were sitting there they kept staring at me! It was driving me nuts! So i finally leaned over to my mom and told her about it and she looked over and just kinda laughed. Well we carried on and tried to ignore them. When it came time to leaving they were still there STARING AT ME STILL!!! UGH!!!! This time my mom really laughed and said "Wow it's almost ridiculous!" and nodded toward them. I just don't get people sometime! I don't understand what they were staring at me for!!! Some people just bug!!!!!!

I'm going to........

the Taylor Swift Fearless concert!!! I am so excited!!! I am going with my sisters and all my nieces and 2 of my nephews!!!! It is going to be so much fun!!! It's my Birthday present to myself!!!! YAY!!! I gave my other ticket to my niece kalie for her birthday yesterday!! She was so excited!!! It will be fun even though we will all be separated. :'( I am excited to spend some time with my niece kalie and get to know her more! I feel bad cause i got married the day before her birthday and didn't get to spend it with her. So this is to make up for her last 2 Birthdays I missed!

I am excited to hear my song White Horse! My favorite part of the song is:

"And there you are on you knees
Begging for forgivness begging for me
Just like I always wanted but I'm so sorry
Cause I'm not your princess, This ain't a fairytale,
I'm gonna find someone someday who might actually treat me well
This is a big world, That was a small town
There in my rear view mirror disappearing now
And it's too late for you and your white horse
It's too late for you and your white horse to catch me now!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I have decided that she wrote this song about me!! Cause it is exactly how I feel! I first heard this song right after I had left Danny and moved back to my parents house. I was getting ready for the day and this song came on the radio. It brought me to tears because it explains my life almost perfectly.

I love to see the Temple!

I love going to the temple! Nothing gives me more peace than doing a temple session!! I just had my temple recommend interview with my branch president yesterday cause my recommend expires the end of this month. I love the feeling of being worthy to enter the lords house and be able to do his work!!! Today is my 2 year anniversary of receiving my endowments! I cannot believe it! The past 2 years have gone by so fast! I love being back in Utah where no matter where I live I always have a temple close to me! I do need to take more advantage of that though!

Cosmo School!!!!

Okay everyone I am starting school next Tuesday, April 21st!!!!!! My hours are 10AM to 7PM Every Tuesday!!! So anyone that is interested in helping me get my last 150 hours or so done please let me know! You can call the school to schedule an appointment or you can call me!!! A lot of the things I still need to do are facials, pedicures, manicures, perms and a few colors. But I can still do anything you need done!!!! Let me know if you want me to do your hair!

I'm going back to school!!!!

Yay I can finally go back and finish Cosmetology school!!!!! I talked to my instructor on wednesday and she gave me the ok to go enroll back into school!!! I will be going every Tuesday starting in May I think!!! I am so excited!!! It will only take a few months for me to get finished!!! So if you need your hair done you all know who to come to now!!! I will give you an update on the exact day I am starting as soon as i go enroll next week!!!!

I am single!!!!

Well Wednesday was my hearing with the judge! He granted me the annulment and I am so excited!!!!!! It was so fast too! I walked in married and 10 minutes later i was single again!!!!! My sister Jolie came with me because she knew my attorney and we were both in tears of joy by the time it was over!!! I was so happy with the way my attorney handled everything!! He really did fight my case!!!! Even though it was such a long process I am so greatful for him helping me!!! I can't believe I am single again! It feels so nice! So if any of you know any guys that are single, who are nice and treat women with respect and actually know what they are doing with their life, think of me!!!!! Thanks!!! :D

Just cause i am bored at work and want to go home!!!

1. Who was your FIRST prom date? Kevin
2. Do you still talk to your FIRST love? Only if i run into him
3. What was your FIRST alcoholic drink? none.... and never will
4. What was your FIRST job? summer in the park summer kids program
5. What was your FIRST car? silver ford escort "98"
6. Who was the FIRST person to text you today? haven't gotten that far yet
7. Who the FIRST person you thought of this morning? my Grandma Reah
8. Who was your FIRST grade teacher? Mrs. sanchez
9. Where did you go on your FIRST ride on an airplane? DISNEYLAND!!!!!
10. Who was your FIRST best friends and do you still talk? brooke sometimes when i see her
11. Where was your FIRST sleepover? My grandma Reah's house!!
12. Who was the FIRST person you talked to today? carli
13. Whose wedding were you in the FIRST time? My sister Jolies
14. What was the FIRST thing you did this morning? got ready for work
15. What was the FIRST concert you ever went to? Alan Jackson!
16. FIRST tattoo? will never have one
17. FIRST piercing? Ears
18. FIRST foreign country you've been to? never been outside the country
19. FIRST movie you remember seeing? Lion King
20. When was your FIRST detention? never
21. What was the FIRST state you lived in? Utah
22. Who was your FIRST roommate? My exhusband since he was more just like a roomate.
23. If you had one wish, what would it be? to find a good guy who will treat me like his wife and love me with no reserve!
24. What is something you would learn if you had the chance? sign language?? I don't know.....
25. Who do you think will be the next person to post this? anyone who wants to i guess!

Almost there!!

Well this long journey is almost over! My hearing is set for this up coming wednesday! And my attorney said that we will not leave there with out an annulment or a divorce! I have never been more happy in life! I cannot wait to start my life where i left off! This trial in my life has made me a stronger person and has made my testimony so much stronger. I cannot wait to see what heavenly father has instore for me next! I cannot wait to see what a real marriage is like! Where I don't have to pretend everyday of my life that I am happy and my marriage is great! Since my grandma passed away I have had this overwhelming sense of peace fill my heart that everything is going to be ok! I cannot tell you how many times I have still felt her arms, along with my grandpa's, around me comforting me! I am so thankful for the support and love of my family and friends! Thank you for helping me stay strong! I am thankful for the gospel! It has definately made me a stronger person. I will update again once everything is over with! Thanks everyone! I love you all!!

We finally did it!!!

It's official!!! It's about time!!! For the worlds biggest and most dedicated BYU fans we finally got one in!!! Kinda pathetic for a family as large as ours too! We finally have a BYU COUGAR in our family!!! Brayden was accepted to BYU a couple weeks ago and we are so excited!!!! We are all so proud of him for his hard work and dedication in school! We were all screaming when he got the email!!! Especially my mom! It was so funny!!! Congrats Brayden!!!! We are so pround of the choices you have made in life!!! We love you so much!!!

My Best Friend! May 10, 1924 - February 11, 2009

On wednesday I had to say goodbye to my best friend, my loving Grandma Reah. She passed away with her family surrounding her on wednesday February 11, 2009 just after 7pm. I greatly miss her! But I know she is in a much better place now! And I will get to see her again! I was blessed to be born on her Birthday May 10th! It created such a special bond between us! I will miss her kisses and hugs! She always gave the best ones!! Grandma, I miss you and love you so much! Thank you for showing and teaching me everything you did! Thank you for your unconditional love! And for your amazing example to me! I miss you dearly!

I bought a new car!!!

I bought a new car today!!! I am so excited!! I was just going down to see it and sign papers but they let me take it home!!! I will post pics soon!!!

YAY!! I finally have a date!

Well everyone!! I finally have a date! My Annulment/Divorce will be final March 18Th!! I will be going in for a hearing that day where i will go in front of the judge and give him my reason why i want an annulment. Then he will either grant me an annulment if he decides that I have a good enough circumstance or a divorce if not. I am so excited to be single again! I cannot wait! Now I actually have a date when I know when I will be single! Yay!!

AS I SAY GOODBYE TO DANNY, THANK YOU TO ALL MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS

I want to thank all of you who have helped me through my greatest trial yet! Going through this Annulment with Danny has not been the easiest thing for me and still is not easy! I hope and pray that everything will get better not only for me but for Danny as well. I hope that he can make things right and get back on the right road! I don't want everyone thinking bad things about him even though he wasn't the husband that I thought he was gonna be, and didn't always treat me the way I should have been treated. He is still a great guy! He just wasn't ready to be married or take care of a family yet. Even through all the bad times we did have some good times together which I will always remember!

I am grateful for my loving mother who has been by my side every step of the way! I don't think I could have gotten through this without her! I am thankful for all the nights she stayed up with me while I cried. She Is more than I could ever ask for in a mother! I am grateful for my Dad for all of the fathers blessings he has given me! I look up to him so much! I could never ask for More Loving Parents!!

My sisters and brothers have also been a great help too! Helping me stay busy and my mind clear so I don't go insane! They have done so much for me my whole life! More than I ever deserved!

My friends have been so understanding and kind to me! Kara I love you! You were there for me from the beginning! Libby I love you too! Hang in there! We can get through this together! And to all my other Family and Friends thank you for your support and kindness!! I love you all so very much!